There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need water and some morals
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
