you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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