haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Screwed.edu
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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