he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
