I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
