you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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