I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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