its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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