So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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