Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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