YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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