Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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