seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
