ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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