I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
