Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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