I think I am morally bankrupt
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize