Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize