K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
