I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
