Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
