The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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