TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
