good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
