it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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