yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Michael Bay diarrhea
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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