Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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