What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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