At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
