you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
