dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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