She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
