is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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