I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize