was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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