I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
