it hurts more in the daytime
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Someone signed my nipple.
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