We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
