haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
