i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
