Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
