And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
