So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
