What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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