I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
