i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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