If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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