Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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