Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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