I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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