Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I had to cum in my sink.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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