oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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