come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
