HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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