He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
handjob tips. give me some.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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