Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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