no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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