think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
