his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
