Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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