Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
