I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
