We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize