Apparently you make a good broom.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i think i have herpe
just one?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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