and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
