I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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