Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
