I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize