we're blogging at a bar
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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