I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
