ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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