sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
