I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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