Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
